Hello Kitty officially scares the crap out of me.
I mean, it's one thing to take over the small minds of eager children who have, let's face it, nothing positive to offer. I can also understand your God-like manipulation of a teenager's wallet. I could even forgive the scamming of middle aged women who can't understand that they are no longer cute. But babies?

This is a picture of the new Hello Kitty themed maternity hospital. The whole hospital. Every baby, every room, Hello Kitty.

C'mon, let them at least have two minutes out of the womb before we barrage them with your luck and adorability. Let them know a world where their food comes promo free. I bet you even have the Hello Kitty breast pump in that teeny room, you sneaky little kitten. Why don't you just come up with tattoos on the inside of their eyelids so they can think of buying your products in their sleep? Wait. Don't do that. I was just kidding. I take it back. I'll buy more stuff this year, I promise. Just leave the babies alone.

I guess it's too much for me, in this commercialized society, to think that they wouldn't target the next generation. Even if it is before they are able to speak. They know we are just getting older and losing patience with their saccharine cat. But, really. Just shoot me when Joe Camel delivers your kid, okay? Seriously, I won't be mad, right in the face.

Until that time I will force myself to use the Hello Kitty contraceptives I got and encourage you all to do the same.