I'm sure everyone has seen this strange man trying to smuggle carrier pigeons, their eggs and some seeds from Dubai to Australia. Frankly, they couldn't have picked a worse species to propagate. Why birds? They're loud and annoying. They are no fun to pet. They don't play fetch. And...
Oh, wait. Yes they do. Especially these birds. Carrier pigeons (are Dubai's better than ours?) are smarter than the average bird, or dumber depending on how you look at the situation. I mean if your really lazy and, say, don't want to ever get out of bed let alone run an errand for a friend. Then these birds are probably pretty stupid to you.

Carrier pigeons are known to be easily trained to, well, carry. But now there is a whole movement to have the pigeons carry drugs for you and even cell phones to inmates in Brazil. Also, Bosnian prisoners were testing positive for drugs that they linked to an inmate breeding and training pigeons.

So this poor guy is stripped at the airport. He's 23 years old and he's got the Hasbro version of a starter kit for a drug dealer. Like the lame version though. The one that no one wanted but you felt really bad for the kids that had to sport it like it was the real thing so you just pretended along with me? Er, them. Anyway, he's facing up to ten years in jail or $70,000 in fines. If he would have had drugs instead of the starter kit he could face up to 20+years in jail and $70,000+ in fines.

Wait a minute.

This guy is a genius. He faces customs bullshit but no real devastating drug charges.

Let's see, two carrier pigeons. A couple eggs. Some seeds. I think you can just go take a pigeon. There are no adoption laws around them or groups that fight for their survival. Heck, if the prisoners can be suave enough for the birds, so can I. Now the eggs should come in due time because, well, you know, they do it. Does anyone know how to check the gender of a pigeon? Also, I am sure I have some seeds around here somewhere. I'm all set. Let's not get too greedy here folks. I know it sounds easy but we have to lay low. Keep our cool. Stay within the borders, no strapping them to your legs. It just looks bad for the rest of us, you know?