A company in New Delhi is reporting that they will be marketing and selling cow pee as a soft drink. The company is tired of the "corrupting" western influence on their product selection. The urine itself is considered to be as sacred as the cow and is revered for its medicinal properties.

I can't help but think that, somewhere along the lines, their word for sacred was confused with our phrase, "triple dog dare you". I don't care if world peace is flowing out of a cow's penis or vagina I am not putting it in my mouth.

However, if you believe in the miracle properties of urine, I have a lot that I have been apparently just wasting away. It runs clear most of the time but with the new vitamins I've been taking it can be fluorescent yellow. This can only be a sign of good fortune and prosperity.

I feel the need to defend my human pee as superior to that of these Holy Bovines. Health critics have argued for years that we should not even be drinking cow mucus, I mean milk, over the human supply. But, sadly, women have refused for centuries to be strapped and milked by machines. Truly a devastating decision for the world. Women are said to be the life givers, the people who swear there would be no war if they were in charge. Rubbish. Here is the perfect example of where they could stand up against the evil dairy empire and win. C'mon ladies. Band together. Soon enough they will invent the "comfort suckler". I imagine it as a hollow baby with a vacuum pump for a mouth and a long endless tube for its anus that will feed into the Earth's milk supply. Ah, that brave new world.

Until then, I assure you that my human pee is way better than cow pee.

You have my word...Cows can't do that. Ha.
Me=1 Cow=0