bear trap

I am so sorry that I have not written in ages. I am moving out of my house and planning a month long hiking trip. I am hoping that the person that I am going with knows that if there is a tiger about to maul me (like the man in the picture) they should first, put down the camera, second, alert me(the maulee), so I can run faster than them away from the hungry tiger. I should also point out that I would like this warning for bears, gorillas, sharks, jellyfish, just about any drunk girl, um, spit balls, and, finally, Carrot Top.
I would like to say that I am trying my best through all of this to post whenever insanity levels brew beyond recognition. Whenever tolerance of human beings are at an all time low. Whenever I freaking feel like it.
We'll be in touch.

I just want to say that I was going to write a little blurb about fartleking, which is a great exercise. A little running, a little slow jog, and then bam! A sprint. It's a great funny word too which makes you giggle the whole time your running.
However, this is the pic that comes up if you google the word. Well, that and a naked big black woman hugging a man in pj's in the shower. Look it up, I swear.
What I want to know is why would this person do this to themselves? I mean he's kinda big but huge? C'mon mister give yourself a chance. Plus bears are all the rage these days and no one wants a bear with low self esteem. Also, drop the please. You have to be assertive. Say it with pride, go ahead, rape my face.
Anyhoo, fartleking is great you should try it.

Maybe I'm too young for this but were bear skinned rugs really that cool? Do you think this guy slaughtered this beast and then to show his great strength over the animal laid on it naked as the final insult?
Note: He does have the mile long mustache that you would need to twirl maniacally.