I am blogging under protest. I have been under watch for not using enough "keywords" and I am only writing to maximize my search engine optimization. Guaranteed good times.
I am seriously going to play some poker tournaments (key words) these next few weeks. I have a success (keyword, you can guess the rest) route that I am experimenting with and will keep you all posted. The diet I am on is a home-run, touchdown all the way, boobs to the wall, ankles in the air, grand slam, Kentucky Derby, high noon shoot-out. Boob, big boobs.
I don't have big boobs. I had a friend once tell me that I couldn't be in Playboy, but I could do Hustler. He said, "don't worry about it, cuz there's a lot of freaks out there that like small boobs."
Good. Great, I'm glad that I can still get a job even with my freak loving boobs. I suppose they could just put me in a cage in the corner with a bag over my head as I yell, "I am not an animal.", for tips.
Still, I wonder how much Hustler pays? It doesn't seem like a lot, those girls are, well, I'm saying $50 tops.
Alright, I strayed, where were we? Oh yeah, they certainly aren't dating Jim Carey or Chris Angel anytime soon. Or worrying about the economy. The job market, swine flu. Hemorrhoids.
That last one isn't a keyword, but that's how I feel right now. Oh, wait it is a pretty popular search. Especially for using hemorrhoid cream on your face. Please let me know if this is true, I am ridiculously curious. Cures wrinkles? Do they have one that doesn't remind me of my ass smell? That's important before I spread it on my face. Then it's just the self ridicule of ass face until I find another keyword that preys on people's fears and weaknesses. Like religion.
Until next time, my little new born babies full of cute cuddly goodness.
